Dusting off the cobwebs today, realizing how long it has
been since my last post! My
apologies! Sometimes life gets so busy
that a year, plus, flies by in the blink of an eye. Has it really been that long?
I've been thinking a lot lately about roadblocks and how
they can ultimately lead to wonderful things, depending on how they are
handled. When writing music I often
develop a case of "composer's block", the musician's version of what
an author might describe as writer's block, which of course is basically a
roadblock. Getting past these roadblocks
depends largely on the way I approach a song.
Sometimes I'm simply too tired to get the right feel for it, or I may be
experiencing too many distractions at that moment. Sometimes I am not spiritually in tune enough
to do anything with a song, and then sometimes I may be completely on the wrong
track, as was the case with the song "Holy Jesus". This song
initially had many roadblocks, and I have since determined that those obstacles
were there for good reasons. The song's
issues were eventually resolved and it was ultimately selected as one of the
winners in the LDS Church annual music submission contest and was
performed in October, 2013, at the Relief Society Music Festival in Salt Lake City , Utah
I
thought I might write a little bit more about this song and the roadblocks I
had to overcome before it could be completed.
Some time towards the end of 2012 a portion of a simple
melody popped into my mind with the words "Holy Jesus, (something) Jesus,
la-la-la-la-la-la-la". In other
words, the only actual lyrics I had at the time and knew should be part of the
song were simply two words, "Holy" and "Jesus". I had absolutely no other words to go on. Usually I will begin a song with a little more
than two words so this wasn't my typical modus
operandi, but the incomplete melody stuck and I felt impressed to do
something with it. I sat down at my
computer and input the small portion of melody so I wouldn't forget what was in
my mind. I didn't know what the
accompaniment should sound like at that time so that part was set aside while I
mulled over what the words might become and did a lot of praying.
For some reason I had initially thought the song might end
up being a children's song; or perhaps I had hoped it might be. I'm not
certain. I love writing children's songs
for the LDS Church
Once I started to add the accompaniment it quickly became
apparent that the song was becoming a little too complicated to be a children's
song. So I labored to simplify the
accompaniment to fit more with a children's song, but it just wasn't working. That flute and piano combination I had
previously enjoyed no longer delighted me and the song just didn't feel
right. At this point I had to make a
decision of whether to stubbornly continue in the direction of trying to
simplify it into a children's song (which likely would have resulted in a dead
end) or to let that idea go completely and see how the song would grow from
there. My curiosity got the better of me
and I decided to go all-in. What a wise
decision! Within mere moments of pursuing
this new direction the song began to expand by leaps and bounds. Not only did
the musicality of the song start to come together but the words also began to
form. No longer did I have to sing
"la la la la la" to the melody.
There were meaningful lyrics! What a relief! With words and music now working in sync together
it quickly became apparent that this was not intended to be a children's song
at all but was to be a song for women.
Ultimately, it became a four-part women's chorus.
When I think back on that first simple melody that had
popped into my mind so many months before, I never could have imagined what it
might become. Had I not found some way
around the roadblocks I was experiencing, or had I not eventually acted on the
inspiration I had been ignoring, who knows where the song might be today; possibly
filed away as an unfinished children's song.
Sometimes I wonder if the Lord grows weary of my stubbornness. If I could only learn to respond better to the
promptings I receive and act on them immediately I might avoid some of these
roadblocks to begin with which would make things much easier on myself, and him. But if he were to make it too easy for me to
listen would I find as much joy in the end result, or, as I've experienced at
other times throughout my composing journey, is the end result more joy-filled when
I work through struggles to get the song completed, and learn something of
value along the way? This is how we grow;
one step at a time, one experience at a time, one roadblock moved out of the
way. Isn't this what life is all about, to improve ourselves each day? Then onward we go along the path of life until we hit another roadblock we
need to work our way around. And isn't life so much more rewarding when we
do discover some way around the obstacles instead of being stuck behind one for
the rest of our lives?
I'm grateful for
the challenges I've been able to work my way around thus far in my life that
have lead to wonderful things. I'm not
saying I look forward to the next roadblock I will encounter along the way, but
I will say that I am eagerly anticipating whatever joy awaits me on the other
side of it.
Marlene D. Bartlett
