Being A Grandma Has It's Perks!

Sometimes life gets going so fast that I feel like I'm running a race and cannot keep up with the person at the back of the pack.  Such has been my life for the past six years as I've enjoyed the adventures of a particularly busy church calling (Stake Young Women President), and becoming a grandma.  Both have their strong points, and blessings (I have to add that I absolutely adore being a grandma!).  Through it all, I've managed to find some time to write quite a few new songs, including some that I submitted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for consideration in their future Children's Songbook and Hymnal (perhaps some future blog entries will be about some of these songwriting experiences).  Unfortunately I haven't been able to update my music blog before now.  My apologies.

Being a Grandma certainly has its benefits and music is definitely a large part of my grand-mothering.  When our first granddaughter was born, I wanted to help instill in her a love of music.  Naturally, singing to her was something our entire family did with her from day one.  As soon as she was old enough to sit up a little and use her hands, I sat her on my lap at the piano and let her experiment with the piano keys.  With my left hand wrapped around her I would use my right hand to play the melody of familiar Children's songs from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or one of my own songs, or to start ad-libbing a new tune altogether.  Often, she would stop playing and would watch with wonder as I played arpeggios and other fanciful-sounding things, mostly on purpose, to create something interesting for her developing mind and ears to listen to, and for her inquisitive eyes to watch and follow. 

One day at the piano with her, I started playing a sequence of notes that she took a particular interest in.  She abruptly stopped what she was doing with the piano keys and intently focused on my hands, appearing to really enjoy what she was hearing.  So I kept playing the same sequence, over and over, and all the while she watched and listened, quite intrigued.  As I continued playing, I began to notice there was a certain familiarity to what was being played, or that it seemed like a familiar melody should go along with the sequence of notes.  That melody quickly came to light, and soon I found myself humming the tune of "I Have Work Enough to Do" along with the accompaniment I was improvising.  It was a slower rendition, yet it was soothing and moving to me, and apparently, to our little granddaughter as well.  I decided I wanted to try to pursue this a little more and see where it went.  So, after my granddaughter left for the day, that's what I did. 

As soon as she had gone home I sat down at the piano again and played the right hand as I had played it before.  Then I added the left hand.  Before long, I had formed a new accompaniment for the hymn.  The melody remained pretty-close to the original hymn, with some slight variations, but the accompaniment was unique.  I then went to my computer and got the basics of it all laid out so I wouldn't forget it.  And then I set it aside for a few days to deal with other pressing responsibilities pertaining to my church calling.

Over the coming weeks I found a few moments at a time to work on this song.  Each time I sat down with it I added a little more, beginning with a flute obbligato.  Then, a women's chorus was added and the song suddenly became something rich and inviting.  To me these new additions gave the song a certain sense of urgency of the message in the song's lyrics, to serve others.  As I continued to work on the song I envisioned a sunrise, and me getting ready to get out of bed in the morning, thinking about who I needed to serve that day.  I then envisioned the sunset at the end of the day and myself laying in bed thinking about who I served that day and how fulfilling it was.  I then pictured getting ready to close my eyes to sleep, but then...wait...I still have work to do tomorrow!  The work is never done!   As my rendition of the song started to parallel this scenario, the meaning of the words became much more clear to me and I truly began to love the song.

By March of 2016, the song was mostly complete but my other obligations prevented me from fine-tuning the editing on it.  So I sort of rushed through the editing of it, to the best of my availabilities at the time, and then whisked it off (via web upload) to the Church on the day of the music submission deadline, hoping it would be good enough. 

Well, it didn't come as a huge surprise to me when my song was NOT selected as one of the winners.  However, I was still a little disappointed.  Each time I played through the song again I had a strong impression that it needed to be submitted to the Church.  I assumed (correctly) that in my rush to submit the song I had made some mistakes.  Therefore, I was determined to find some quality time to work on it some more and see what needed to be fixed so I could re-submit it the next year.  I had a year to find that time, so I waited for the right moment.

Several months later I finally found a calm moment to look over the song again. This time, I looked through it more carefully, prayerfully, and more determined.  Almost immediately, I found several glaring technical errors, including a missing time signature.  Oops!  I was quite embarrassed that those things had slipped by me before, and I was relieved to have the opportunity to make the corrections and try submitting it again. 

I submitted it again in March of 2017 and was very pleased when it was awarded the Award of Merit (second place), in the Relief Society song category.  What wonderful news!   The song was performed in the Church Music Festival in 2018 and will eventually be added it to the Church Music Library.

It gives me great joy to think that this song arrangement basically came to light with a grandchild on my lap.  I will always remember those sweet, inquisitive eyes watching my fingers moving up and down the keys, and her sweet ears, alert and in tune, hearing and feeling possibly what I was hearing and feeling at the same time.  It was her curiosity and interest in what I was playing that kept me going forward with the song, adding more notes to keep her interested and attentive.  If I hadn't been sitting at the piano with her that day, responding to her interest in what I was playing, it is possible this new arrangement of "I Have Work Enough To Do" may not have ever been written.  One might even say that our granddaughter co-wrote the arrangement with me, and the Lord.  This experience has been, for me, definitely one of the wonderful perks of being a grandparent.  I truly love being a grandma!

I don't yet have a recording of this song but if I get one I will be sure to add it here for those who would like to listen to it. 

                                                            Marlene D. Bartlett

Overcoming Fear - the story of "I Know That My Redeemer Lives"

"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;

but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

(2 Timothy 1:6-7)

Towards the end of 2013, I was sitting at the piano flipping through the hymn book.  I stopped on a well-loved LDS favorite, "I Know That My Redeemer Lives", and began to play it, pondering the words while I played.  I've always loved Samuel Medley's beautiful words and the simple tune by Lewis D. Edwards.  As I finished playing this beautiful song the sweet message in the words continued to resonate within me.  At that moment,  quite unexpectedly, a new melody entered my mind; not the one that I was familiar with and had sung to those words all of my life, but something entirely different.  Curious, I began to play the new tune with my right hand, and no sooner had I begun when the full piano accompaniment presented itself, almost magically.  I was amazed at how quickly it had formed and was even more amazed to find that this new melody matched Samuel Medley's words completely.  Interesting! 

But then...

I got up from the piano and stepped away from it, quickly coming to my senses.  "No-o-o-o-o  way!"  I thought,  "Uh, uh!  I wouldn't dare touch that one with a ten-foot pole!"  My thoughts had returned to the original hymn as I argued with my inner self that "it's a classic", and "it's everyone's favorite", and "is one I would consider 'untouchable'", and that "people would think I was crazy for even trying to write a new melody to go along with those words."  So, firmly convinced it would be a disaster, and determined to ignore and forget the idea altogether, I went about the rest of my day thinking the new tune would simply slip from my mind. Well, apparently it wasn't that easy.

Throughout the following days,...then weeks,...then months, that new melody continued to haunt me.  Normally, with a few exceptions, when a new song pops into my mind if I don't take the time to actually write the tune on paper, or at the very least scrawl down just a few notes of it, the song will leave my mind entirely.  Poof!  Gone.  However, on this particular occasion I didn't write down a thing and yet the melody remained.  I had been so certain that it was such a bad idea to change the original hymn that I simply refused to go there.  I couldn't write it down.  I was actually quite terrified at the thought.  I was afraid.  But that didn't seem to matter, because the tune stuck with me...and it stuck with me whenever I sat down to work on another song project.  Each time I made an attempt to work on another song I accomplished absolutely nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  All I kept getting was composer's block on every song I pulled out. 

After what seemed like months of struggle, with nothing more to show for my efforts, I finally relented (yeah, I'm kind of a slow learner, as you might have guessed).  I sat back down at the piano, opened up the hymnal to "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" and began to play it, but not as it is written in the hymn book; I played it with the new melody.  Once again, the accompaniment came easily and all was as it had been when I played it months before, as though someone had simply pressed a pause button, waiting for me to return.  Weird!  Yet it was intriguing, at the same time.

Still fearing what people would say about making changes to this hymn, I called my husband in for his opinion and played the new tune for him, hoping for some encouragement.  However, unfortunately, his comments only made things worse.  He really loved the new tune and accompaniment, but when he realized this music was to be attached to the words of the hymn he hesitated.  He then suggested that instead of changing a classic hymn favorite, perhaps I might write original words to go along with my original music, thus creating a new song entirely.  A very nice idea and a nice thought, and I would have loved to have done just that, but that wasn't the impression I kept getting.

I decided I needed to act on these impressions.  So this time, when I stepped away from the piano, I didn't toss the song aside.  I went directly to my computer and began putting the song on paper, all the while still inwardly convinced that it was a bad idea to mess with this hymn.  In spite of my hesitance, I also couldn't deny the impressions I was feeling to finish it, so I continued working until the accompaniment and melody were finally written.  Then, due to other church commitments, I had to let the song sit a few days before I could work on it again.  In the meantime, I continued to ponder it.

In the few days following, the song began to grow in my mind.  I felt impressed to add an additional instrument.  So an obbligato was added for violin or flute.  Since I was hoping to enter a song in the Relief Society category for the LDS Church's 2014 Music Submission contest, I decided the song would be for women.  Ultimately, it became a four-part women's chorus. 

When all was said and done, this new version of "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" was really nothing like the original tune.  Once again, it terrified me to think of how others would react to this drastic change.  I wasn't quite sure what the Music Department of the LDS Church would think of it.  Maybe laugh?  I had no idea.  I knew it was a rather bold, long shot, but I also felt that if I didn't complete and submit it, I might be in trouble with the Lord, and I might never write another song.  So I completed the song as prayerfully as I could and submitted it, ready to accept whatever the outcome of the contest.

After submitting my version of "I Know That My Redeemer Lives," I was fairly convinced this particular songwriting experience was solely meant to be one of the many growing experiences for me, perhaps to help me overcome fear, which I have certainly experienced a lot of, especially on this song.  Or, perhaps it was to teach me obedience the hard way, somewhat like Jonah learned in the belly of a fish when he stubbornly refused to go to Nineveh to preach to the people.  Except in my instance, instead of being inside a fish belly (thank you for that, Lord!), I wasn't allowed to compose.  With my stubbornness and fears cast aside and a new version of "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" finally completed, I was hopeful of being able to move on to other songs.  I really had no high expectations for the song and felt like its purpose had been served; I had learned about obedience and about overcoming (or at least facing) fear, and that would likely be the end of it.

To my surprise, the song was selected as a winner in the submission contest and was performed at the Church Music Festival on February 13, 2015.  In the several years I've been composing, I don't think I've ever been more nervous over a performance of one of my songs, with the exception of perhaps the first song I ever wrote.  During the concert I sat nervously, shaking and sweating, through the entire song wondering how people would react (silly of me, I know, but I couldn't help it!).  However, the choir performed the song so beautifully, and so sweetly that it also made me cry.  I felt so blessed, and humbled, to be there to hear them perform! 

When the song ended, I recall actually listening for gasps of horror and shock from the audience seated throughout the Assembly Hall.  However, the audience was kind, and I heard no such gasping or shouting, and no one (that I am aware of) walked out on the performance.  I had survived the song's debut, uninjured, and no worse for wear.  

When the concert was over many people approached me to offer sweet compliments and congratulations, including a few of the choir members who performed the song.  I was touched by their kindness.  Some of the choir members also left thoughtful notes for me to read later on.  If they only knew how much those messages meant to me!

Click here to listen to the song

As I've thought back on my experience writing this new melody I can't help but think about all of my fears, and wonder why it was so much worse for this song than others.  As the Bible says in 2 Timothy 1: 6-7, fear is not of God.  I also know that God is fully aware that we experience fear as part of our worldly trials.  Because of this He is also there to help us through our struggles with fear, if we can but turn to Him for help and comfort.  As I ponder these thoughts, words to another familiar Hymn come to mind;

Fear not, I am with thee;

Oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God

And will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee,

And cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my righteous,

Omnipotent hand.

                                            

(How Firm A Foundation - LDS Hymn Book,Hymn #85)

While I did experience a lot of fear over this song, I also learned and gained something more.  When we work to try to overcome fear, God will indeed strengthen, and help us, and give us aid.  I cannot begin to measure the aid I received while writing this song.  Once I finally fought off the fear and began to actually write it, the song practically wrote itself.  I definitely had assistance!  Again, I am humbled at the thought of this and am mindful of the gentle, tender, teaching-methods the Lord uses while He helps me to grow.  I am ever grateful for His patience and mercy.

Marlene D. Bartlett

Roadblocks Can Lead to Wonderful Things

Dusting off the cobwebs today, realizing how long it has been since my last post!  My apologies!  Sometimes life gets so busy that a year, plus, flies by in the blink of an eye.  Has it really been that long?

I've been thinking a lot lately about roadblocks and how they can ultimately lead to wonderful things, depending on how they are handled.  When writing music I often develop a case of "composer's block", the musician's version of what an author might describe as writer's block, which of course is basically a roadblock.  Getting past these roadblocks depends largely on the way I approach a song.  Sometimes I'm simply too tired to get the right feel for it, or I may be experiencing too many distractions at that moment.  Sometimes I am not spiritually in tune enough to do anything with a song, and then sometimes I may be completely on the wrong track, as was the case with the song "Holy Jesus". This song initially had many roadblocks, and I have since determined that those obstacles were there for good reasons.  The song's issues were eventually resolved and it was ultimately selected as one of the winners in the LDS Church annual music submission contest and was performed in October, 2013, at the Relief Society Music Festival in Salt Lake City, Utah.  You can listen to Holy Jesus by clicking the link below:

Click Here to Listen

I thought I might write a little bit more about this song and the roadblocks I had to overcome before it could be completed. 

Some time towards the end of 2012 a portion of a simple melody popped into my mind with the words "Holy Jesus, (something) Jesus, la-la-la-la-la-la-la".  In other words, the only actual lyrics I had at the time and knew should be part of the song were simply two words, "Holy" and "Jesus".  I had absolutely no other words to go on.  Usually I will begin a song with a little more than two words so this wasn't my typical modus operandi, but the incomplete melody stuck and I felt impressed to do something with it.  I sat down at my computer and input the small portion of melody so I wouldn't forget what was in my mind.  I didn't know what the accompaniment should sound like at that time so that part was set aside while I mulled over what the words might become and did a lot of praying. 

For some reason I had initially thought the song might end up being a children's song; or perhaps I had hoped it might be.  I'm not certain.  I love writing children's songs for the LDS Church and since I had imagined this song as a new children's song I began to focus on it in that light.  However, for some reason the song wasn't going anywhere; no lyrics, no additional melody.  Huge composer's block.  So I set it aside for several months while I pondered and prayed some more about the simple melody and wondered what it was to become.  After awhile this "simple" melody began to grow in my mind.  I began to hear a flute obbligato, which became exciting to me because I had never written a song that included an instrument other than piano and organ.  This was new!  So, I sat back down at my computer and added the flute.  Not long after, I started to get a feel for the accompaniment which played off the flute, or rather they played off each other. 

Once I started to add the accompaniment it quickly became apparent that the song was becoming a little too complicated to be a children's song.  So I labored to simplify the accompaniment to fit more with a children's song, but it just wasn't working.  That flute and piano combination I had previously enjoyed no longer delighted me and the song just didn't feel right.  At this point I had to make a decision of whether to stubbornly continue in the direction of trying to simplify it into a children's song (which likely would have resulted in a dead end) or to let that idea go completely and see how the song would grow from there.  My curiosity got the better of me and I decided to go all-in.  What a wise decision!  Within mere moments of pursuing this new direction the song began to expand by leaps and bounds. Not only did the musicality of the song start to come together but the words also began to form.  No longer did I have to sing "la la la la la" to the melody.  There were meaningful lyrics! What a relief!  With words and music now working in sync together it quickly became apparent that this was not intended to be a children's song at all but was to be a song for women.  Ultimately, it became a four-part women's chorus.  

When I think back on that first simple melody that had popped into my mind so many months before, I never could have imagined what it might become.  Had I not found some way around the roadblocks I was experiencing, or had I not eventually acted on the inspiration I had been ignoring, who knows where the song might be today; possibly filed away as an unfinished children's song. 

Sometimes I wonder if the Lord grows weary of my stubbornness.  If I could only learn to respond better to the promptings I receive and act on them immediately I might avoid some of these roadblocks to begin with which would make things much easier on myself, and him.  But if he were to make it too easy for me to listen would I find as much joy in the end result, or, as I've experienced at other times throughout my composing journey, is the end result more joy-filled when I work through struggles to get the song completed, and learn something of value along the way?  This is how we grow; one step at a time, one experience at a time, one roadblock moved out of the way.  Isn't this what life is all about, to improve ourselves each day?  Then onward we go along the path of life until we hit another roadblock we need to work our way around.  And isn't life so much more rewarding when we do discover some way around the obstacles instead of being stuck behind one for the rest of our lives?  

I'm grateful for the challenges I've been able to work my way around thus far in my life that have lead to wonderful things.  I'm not saying I look forward to the next roadblock I will encounter along the way, but I will say that I am eagerly anticipating whatever joy awaits me on the other side of it.

Marlene D. Bartlett

Joy in patience and endurance – the story of “If Any of You Lack Wisdom”

Oftentimes the good things we receive in life may require a great deal of patience.  For example, A young newlywed couple might experience patience as they struggle through lengthy education, but the rewards for patiently enduring that education and the hard work that comes with it can bring great joy; in this instance, an opportunity for better employment, a better standard of living, and stability for a family.  Not many years ago I was blessed with an opportunity to learn such patience and endurance and to experience the resulting reward of great joy.  This all took place around the time I wrote my very first song, “If Any of You Lack Wisdom”.  Because of the experience this song will always hold a very special place in my heart.  The following is the story of how the song “If Any of You Lack Wisdom” came to be:

On a Sunday in June of 2005 I was sitting in church pondering some things I had recently read about Joseph Smith, Jr., the first prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Much was being discussed about the prophet that year as the Church was preparing to celebrate his 200^th birthday.  During Sacrament Meeting that day in June, I certainly wasn’t expecting a life-changing event to occur.  I remember thinking about Joseph as a young boy, and how one simple prayer changed the world, forever.  I then thought about the Book of James, Chapter 1, verse 5, the scripture that prompted Joseph’s humble prayer in the Sacred Grove that ultimately led to the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I had read the verse enough to have it memorized:  “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”  As I was recalling the words to this scripture, I remember the moment well when, like a bolt of lightning, a simple tune popped into my mind.  It filled my heart with amazing warmth, and I tingled with excitement as I realized this verse could be made into a song and that I might be given the opportunity to write that song.  It was surreal to me, and I pondered whether the feeling within me was anything like what Joseph Smith felt when that same scripture had made such an impact on him.  I quickly grabbed my Sacrament Meeting program and jotted down the notes to the song so I wouldn’t forget what I had heard.  I remember one of my kids looked at what I had written down and asked, “Is that a song?”  I nodded, and smiled, and thought, wow, is this for real? 

I couldn’t wait to get home and work more with the song.  I remember singing it for my husband and kids and asking them whether they thought it would be something the Primary children would sing.  They all said yes, but I could see the “yeah, right”-expressions on their faces, confirming my thoughts that it was truly a long-shot.  I knew I wasn’t a composer, so why should I expect anything more to happen with the song even if I did complete it?  My self-doubts weren’t enough to stop me.  I simply couldn’t ignore the way the song was received and the drive within my heart and soul that was persuading me to pursue it further.  So, pursue it I did!

It didn’t take long to discover that completing the song was not going to be as easy as I had thought.  The chorus of the song was a breeze, because that was the part I had received as I was thinking of the words in James 1:5.  However, I ran into some obstacles when I began to write three verses to go along with the chorus.  I hadn’t heard a melody for any verses and I also didn’t have those words.  I remember spending countless hours in prayer, striving to complete what I had felt was “an assignment” that had been entrusted to me.  After a few weeks of work, at long last, I finally had what I thought was a nice little song from start to finish.  I tested it out on family members and it was well-received.  It was finished!

…Or so I thought! 

I was encouraged by family and friends to submit the song to the LDS Church and see if they would like to print it in The Friend magazine, which is a children’s magazine the church prints each month.  From time to time issues of The Friend include music, and since the date of Joseph Smith’s birthday celebration was approaching I thought, or rather hoped, the church might like to use it for that event.  So, I sent a copy of the song to The Friend magazine with a little note asking whether they might be interested in the song.  Not long after, I received a letter from the editors of The Friend explaining that they are only able to publish works that have gone through the Church Music Submission contests which are held annually.  The letter continued, saying they had therefore forwarded the song to the Church Music Department for submission into the contest.  To be on the safe side, I decided to look up the information about the contest and then submitted the song, again, according to their guidelines.  I later received two confirmation letters from the Church Music Department stating they had received the song, directly from me and also from The Friend, and that the song had been entered into the contest which would be judged the following June. 

Wait!....Not until next June?  Yes, next June, which meant I had to wait an entire year to find out whether the Church was interested in my song!  I had just missed the submission deadline for 2005.  What rotten luck!

The agony I faced during that year was almost unbearable.  It was probably the longest year of my life.  Surely I wouldn’t win anything, but then what was that moment of inspiration, and why did I feel so strongly the need to write the song?  I don’t know what I was expecting to hear; perhaps just a verbal pat on the back with some encouragement telling me something along the lines of, “although it wasn’t selected as a winner we really enjoyed the song”, or perhaps some constructive criticism suggesting I change a few things and continue working with it.   I really had no idea what to expect.

At long last, June of 2006 arrived. The submission rules had stated that a letter would be sent out by July 1^st to all submitters, announcing who the winners were.  I impatiently waited…and waited…and waited…. Nothing came!  By mid-July I was extremely depressed and confused by the lack of…well, anything at all.  I decided the Church must have absolutely hated the song so much that it wasn’t worthy of a response.  I was certain I had been delusional to think I could ever really be a composer.  What had I been thinking? Who was I kidding?  And yet…what was that experience I had during church if I wasn’t supposed to write the song?  Again, I was terribly confused.

Some time in October of that same year I was on the phone with my mother when she asked, “I keep forgetting to ask you, what ever happened with that song you wrote?”  I hadn’t even mentioned it to anyone because I had been so depressed about the whole ordeal.  I told my mother the sad story that I hadn’t heard a word so I assumed the Church absolutely hated it.  She thought it was odd that I hadn’t at least received the letter with the list of winners that had been promised.  Therefore, she encouraged me to call the Church Music Department to ask about it.  I hesitated, and then decided I probably should at least call them or I would always wonder about it.  So I made the call.

The sister on the other end of the phone was pleasant and sweet.  I explained to her that I had submitted a song but hadn’t heard anything and was wondering whether the letter with the list of winners had been sent out.  She was confused and said that yes, the letters had indeed been sent to everyone, and that if I had entered a song I should have received one.  We wondered whether my letter had been somehow lost in the mail.  If so, what rotten luck that would have been, especially for someone as anxious as I had been about it all.  She asked for my name and the title of my song and began searching the computer database to verify my address.  A few moments later she said, “Hmmm, that’s strange…”  “What’s strange?”  I asked.  “Well…” she said, “I’m not finding your name or your song title in the database, and it should be here if you submitted it, and especially if you received a confirmation letter from us because those letters don’t go out unless the song has already been entered into the system.”  I then told her about having submitted it twice, once through The Friend, and then again through the submission contest and that I had received letters regarding both entries.  She decided she needed to look in some other places and said she would call me back later.  About an hour later, she called and reported that she had searched their entire office, and had also gone to the office of The Friend magazine to search there as well and had not found the song anywhere.  She apologized and said it was “a complete mystery” and that this type of thing had never happened before as they are very careful to catalog each entry.  Indeed it was a mystery because not one, but TWO copies of my song had completely disappeared!  She then said, “Apparently, your song didn’t get judged at all. Will you submit it again?”  I told her that I would do so.

As I began to digest this news a tidal wave of emotions rushed through me.  First, confusion over why two copies of the song had mysteriously disappeared, then relief that the Church hadn’t completely rejected it…yet, anyway; and then excitement about having another chance to submit it; and finally, dread at having to wait for almost another year to find out the results…again!  I quickly decided the Lord must really want me to learn patience!  I then had another realization that almost instantly set me to work again.  I suddenly knew in my heart that I had made a mistake, or mistakes, somewhere in the song, and that I was being given an opportunity to fix it; that the song was close, but not quite right.  I also realized that if the song had been judged as it had been submitted, and ultimately rejected due to the mistake(s) I would have given up on the idea of composing entirely, certain I had been delusional to even think I could ever stand a chance.  Alternatively, if the song had been selected a winner despite the mistake(s), it would have always been wrong and may never have been corrected.   I decided that these reasons were why the song had gone missing, and that it was actually quite a miracle and a blessing, rather than a mystery and sheer bad luck.

This time, I wasn’t going to rush to submit it.  I knew the submission deadline wasn’t until March 31^st, so I had a few months to work on it and pray about it.  I won’t say it came easy for me, because it didn’t.  It took a great deal of effort and time.  I felt in my heart that the chorus was exactly as it needed to be, because that was the part that was "given" to me, by way of inspiration or whatever you want to call it.  The rest, however, I was unsure about.  After many hours and days spent praying about it I finally came to a solid conclusion that some of the words were wrong, and the first line of the melody in the verse needed a slight change.  After making those adjustments, and praying about it further, I knew.  This time, it really was finished.  

And then came the awful wait…again.  Not as long this time, but even a few months was too much by this point, almost more agony than I could bear.  I could hardly stand another disappointment, although I also couldn’t talk myself into believing my song could possibly win anything, especially with so many talented composers submitting songs to the church.  Again, I really didn’t quite know what to expect.   

One night during the middle of June of 2007, I remember praying for comfort, to know it was going to be okay and that I wouldn’t experience the complete rejection and ultimate disappointment I feared I was going to receive.  All at once, an image came to mind of my song sitting on a piano with a blue ribbon attached to it.  A blue ribbon!?  No, it couldn’t be!  The idea was laughable at best, yet my heart filled with warmth and comfort over the thought of this image, similar to the feelings I experienced when the melody for the chorus came to me during church.  I was extremely grateful for this comfort whether or not the winning song was true.  Of course I certainly hoped it was true, but I had serious doubts.   

The morning of June 21^st began as any other as I started getting ready for the day.  At some point the phone rang.  The caller ID read, “The Church of Jesus Christ”.  Since we had a missionary serving in Missouri at that time who had already undergone surgery for a broken nose due to a direct elbow hit while playing basketball in the Missionary Training Center, my initial reaction was one of concern—not again!   I picked up the phone and was relieved to discover it was actually someone from the Church Music Department.  My initial concern quickly changed to sheer excitement and anticipation.  I certainly hadn’t been expecting a phone call!

I wish there had been a video camera running at the moment I was informed my song had been awarded “Award of Distinction” in the children’s song division.  Award of Distinction - first place!  Wow! It was really true!  I could barely contain my excitement, and once the phone was returned to its receiver there was much rejoicing in our home.  I think I danced around for at least an hour and wore a smile on my face for at least three months, if not longer.  My smiles weren’t all due to having a winning song, but probably mostly due to the overwhelming feeling of immense relief — to know I wasn’t completely crazy (some might argue this, ha ha), and to know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and who knows me better than I know myself.  I felt such an abundance of joy and excitement, but mostly I felt overwhelming gratitude.  I was extremely grateful to have been given such a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow, through trials, humility and patience, and to experience the rewards of enduring throughout it all, which resulted in a joy beyond my wildest dreams.  All of the agony of the long, unbearable wait, and the disappointment experienced after the first time the song had been submitted was all totally worth this feeling of immense, indescribable joy. 

This entire experience also marked the beginning of my journey as a song writer.  I suddenly knew that I actually can be a composer and with this first writing experience I also learned how important it is to have enough faith and spiritual preparation each time I compose so I can write each song correctly, from the start.  How grateful I am to a wise and loving Heavenly Father who sees and knows much more than we do, and through His wisdom can find ways to help us grow and experience things that He knows we need, to become what He wants us to become.   I am forever indebted to Him for His generousness and mercy to me.

    Marlene D. Bartlett

A Few Sweet Updates

It's been a few months since my last entry, so I thought I would take a moment to give a few updates. 

First, I want to give an update on a story I related in one of my September posts titled "Sweet Moments, Sweet Rewards".  In that entry I told the story of the 11-year old boy who had a desire to be baptized a member of the LDS Church but was unable to until he received permission from his birth parents.  Well, I was pleased to learn this week that this sweet boy is being baptized today!  This news is so joyous and is such a special treat, in and of itself, but there is a "cherry on top" for me, at least, because he has requested my tithing song, "The Windows of Heaven" to be performed at his baptism.  Could anything be sweeter?  I am so happy for this young man for the wise choice he has made to be baptized.  I know he will have great blessings throughout his life because of this decision.  I am truly looking forward to attending his baptism!

The second update I would like to give is regarding the song, "We Are His Hands" (referenced in my September blog entry titled "Songwriting Marathons") that was recently performed in Salt Lake at the LDS Church Relief Society Music Festival.  My husband and I attended the concert and it was a thrill and delight to be there in person to see and hear a full women's choir performing my song.  The choir did a wonderful job!  The Church recorded the concert and sent me a CD.  If you are interested in hearing the performance of this song, click the "Play Song" link just below this blog entry.   The sheet music is also available to download through the link "My Songs found on LDS.org" (located under "Favorite Links" on the right).

Marlene D. Bartlett 

"We Are His Hands", performed by the Fruit Heights Utah Stake Women's Choir,

October 26, 2012, in Salt Lake City, Utah

Play Song - Click Here

Sweet Moments, Sweet Rewards

Music writing can be a lot of work, but the experiences that come along with it make it all worthwhile, and often tenderly remind me why I am doing this.  There are definitely many sweet moments and sweet rewards. 

I have been blessed with a very supportive husband who enjoys informing the Bishopric in our ward (church congregation) whenever I have written a new song, or when one of my songs has been selected by the LDS Church as a winner in their music submission contests.  In addition, our Bishopric has always been extremely supportive and has asked the Primary (children’s organization) in our ward to perform some of the children’s songs I write.  Therefore, it has become a bit of a tradition for our Primary to sing one of my songs each year during the Primary’s annual Sacrament Meeting Presentation.  For those who may not know what this presentation is, it is an opportunity for the Primary to share with the entire congregation some of the things they have learned throughout the year.  The program includes a lot of music, and it is quite an honor and a special treat for me when they also sing one of my songs. 

By coincidence, I currently serve as the Primary Chorister in our ward.  I seriously believe I have the best calling in the church.  In addition to having lots of fun with the children each week I get to stand in front of them while they sing.  It is truly priceless watching so many innocent, bright and shining faces singing their hearts out, and hearing their sweet voices as they belt out such beautiful words as “I feel my Savior’s love in all the world around me”.   Standing front and center while they sing is truly “the best seat in the house”.   I know, you’re jealous, right?  J

This year, the Primary has been working on a tithing song I wrote called “The Windows of Heaven.”  The song focuses on Malachi chapter 3, verse 10, which explains that when we pay tithing the Lord will open up the windows of heaven and pour out blessings.  In writing the song, my desire was to help children understand that the blessings we receive from paying tithing cannot be measured and are endless.  I also wanted the children to know how the Lord uses tithing money.

Of course, as with any church song they learn, I always hope children understand the meaning of the words they sing.  Sometimes I wonder if they really get it, or if they are merely memorizing the words for the sake of memorizing and nothing more.  I recently found out that at least some of the time they certainly do get it.

One of the teachers in our ward's Primary is a foster parent.  She and her husband currently care for four foster children who are not members of the church; however, these children come with them to church each Sunday.  Two of these children are in Primary.  These children, along with the rest of the children in Primary, have been learning my tithing song.  Last Sunday as we were reviewing the song I happened to glance toward this particular sister who was sitting with her Primary class.  She was staring toward me at the front of the room, with tears streaming down her face.  I wondered what had sparked these emotions, but I immediately decided I wouldn’t interfere.  I smiled compassionately at her as I continued to lead the song.  Later, during a brief break in singing I stepped out into the hallway and this sister followed me out the door, wanting to talk to me.  She said she wanted to explain why she had been crying during the song.  She explained that one of her foster children, an 11-year old boy, has a strong desire to be baptized a member of the church.  Unfortunately, before he can be baptized, they must first obtain permission from the child’s birth parents.  In the meantime, he has been very interested in learning as much as possible about the church.  She then related to me this story:

Sunday morning this boy approached her and asked, “Is tithing really used to help build the temples?”   She assured him, saying, “Yes, it is.”  He then stated, “Then I want to pay my tithing, too.”  He then filled her hand with money and told her it was his tithing money and he wanted her to help him pay it.  She was very touched by his sweet gesture and generosity and told him she would help him do that.  After he left the room she sat and pondered, wondering what had prompted him to ask that particular question about tithing.  She couldn’t recall ever discussing it with him so she wondered where he had learned that tithing was used to build temples.  It then dawned on her that he had learned this from my tithing song.  So, later on that morning in Primary when we began to sing the song, she became overwhelmed with gratitude and emotion as she listened to this sweet child, along with the other children in Primary, singing these words: 

Tithing helps His gospel spread,

And builds temples on this earth,

I am so grateful tithing’s blessings

Are of eternal worth.

For me there is nothing sweeter than to know these song words have been pondered by at least one child.  Not only did he ponder them, but he took them to heart and made the decision to act on them and decided on his own that he wanted to pay tithing.  In my mind, if nothing else ever comes of this song it will have served its purpose.  How grateful I am to have played any role whatsoever in bringing these words to life so that a child could be taught this simple gospel truth.  Could there be any sweeter reward for me than this?  This is one of the many reasons why I continue to write music.  I am so grateful for the opportunities I have been blessed with to be an instrument in some way in helping to move the gospel of Jesus Christ forward, through music. 

                                                            Marlene D. Bartlett

Songwriting Marathons

Moments of inspiration in song writing, when they happen, often require immediate action on my part and often result in what I refer to as a “songwriting marathon”.  In other words, I may end up staying up all night, or until I am satisfied the song is safely on paper and I won’t forget it entirely.  After an all-night or all-day marathon I will often let a song sit for a few days, or sometimes months, before revisiting it.  I find this helps me gain a fresh perspective the next time I look at it.  I will often find errors I may have been too exhausted to spot as I was writing it.

Several months ago, while editing a children’s song I had been preparing to enter in the 2012 Church Music Submission contest for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I experienced the biggest songwriting marathon to date.  What resulted from this marathon was not the song I had intended to submit, but a surprise song and experience I had not even dreamed of.  In the six years I have been submitting children’s song entries to the Church, I have never submitted an entry in the Relief Society (women's organization) music category...until now. 

The night before the submission deadline I had been doing some final editing on my children’s song and was finding it very difficult to focus.  I kept getting a nagging feeling that I needed to do something with a tune that had been “haunting” me all week. In fact--no joke, as I would start to sing my children’s song, I would discover I was actually singing the tune of the new song with the words to my children’s song, even though the two didn’t quite fit together.  I was so distracted that I ended up setting aside the children’s song in order to do some serious contemplating on whether I needed to work on the new song.  As I pondered, I kept getting the distinct feeling that I definitely should, but there was a huge problem.  I had no lyrics! 

Admittedly, my biggest hang-up in writing songs is often over the lyrics.  The words need to be meaningful, especially with religious songs, and they should flow off the tongue easily.  Many lyrics rhyme--not all, but mine usually do, and they need to have the proper meter, timing and rhythm.  Therefore, when I start to work on a song if the words don’t come to me before the tune, the song will often take much longer to complete.  In the case of this new, surprise song, there was a melody with absolutely no words.  I had a feeling it was supposed to be a song about service, and the melody running through my mind felt right in three-part harmony, so I assumed it might eventually be a Relief Society number (emphasis on "eventually"…as in a few years from now). I was certain there was no way I would be able to write a song with three-part women’s voices complete with words and accompaniment in less than 18 hours.  It was already after 10:00 p.m. and I was pretty tired, but I decided to take the matter to the Lord.  I had to know what He wanted me to do. 

Afterwards, to be honest, I wasn’t really expecting anything to happen, so I was somewhat caught off guard by what transpired.  I had done something some people may consider a dumb move.  I had actually bargained with the Lord.  I told Him that if He really wanted me to write the song I needed His help with the words, and that if the words would come quickly I would stay up all night and would do everything I could to get the song done on time.  I figured that would be the end of it.  A word to the wise:  Be careful what you ask for and agree to do in your prayers!  Almost instantly, the words came.  In less than 10 minutes the lyrics for the entire song were completed.  At that point, tired or not, I knew I was definitely committed to staying up all night and fulfilling my end of the bargain!  I was completely exhausted the next day, but with the Lord as my partner the song was completed in time to meet the submission deadline.  Whew!  Talk about a marathon!

A funny story:  That morning, I was so exhausted and the notes were starting to become a blur for me, so I needed a second opinion to be sure the song was actually okay and wasn’t just my fuzzy imagination.  My college-aged kids were just starting to wake up and were getting ready for the day, so I asked two of them to come into the room and listen to the song and give me their honest opinions.  They asked whether this was the children’s song I had been working on and I explained it was an entirely new song I had begun the night before.  So I clicked the play button on my computer (the magic of using Sibelius for my music-writing software), and they listened to the song in three-part harmony being “sung” by an electronic, synthesized choir, complete with the piano accompaniment.  When the song ended, I turned to them and asked what they thought.  To my horror, both sat staring in silence at the computer monitor with awkward scowls on their faces!  This confirmed my worst fears that, due to extreme exhaustion, my senses had become impaired and I had royally messed up the song.  So I commented on their scowls and asked them what they didn’t like about it.  After a long pause, my son finally shook his head and said, “No…it’s not the song…I mean…it’s that I can’t believe you just wrote all of this overnight!”  Then my daughter said, “Yeah, it would have taken me months just to write half of the first page!”  Of course I then realized neither of them had actually paid much attention to the song because they had been stuck on the fact that it had been written overnight.  I laughed and said, “Never mind about that!  I really need your opinions because I have a deadline to meet.”  So I played it for them again.  Afterwards, to my great relief, they both offered positive remarks. 

This marathon experience definitely provided me with an opportunity for growth and taught me a great lesson in obedience and commitment.  It also reinforced my testimony of the power of prayer.  It was such a priceless and treasured experience for me that had this been the only reason for writing the song it truly would have been sufficient.  However, there is apparently more.  The song was in fact selected by the Church as one of the winners in the Relief Society category and will be performed at the Relief Society Music Festival in the Assembly Hall in Salt Lake City, Utah on October 26th, 2012.  The Church has also asked permission to publish the song on their web site.  This is "frosting on the cake" for me and I couldn’t be more delighted! (See Blog entry, "A Few Sweet Updates" to listen to the song).

I think about what I would have missed had I simply chosen to ignore the nagging feeling of working on this song and instead wrapped up my children’s song and merely went to bed.  Sure, that would have been the easy thing to do, but then I would have denied myself the opportunity for something greater; an experience that was certainly more worthwhile than anything I could have ever imagined.  I hope to be blessed with more of these priceless songwriting marathons in the future…as long as they don't happen all at once!

Marlene D. Bartlett