Joy in patience and endurance – the story of “If Any of You Lack Wisdom”

Oftentimes the good things we receive in life may require a great deal of patience.  For example, A young newlywed couple might experience patience as they struggle through lengthy education, but the rewards for patiently enduring that education and the hard work that comes with it can bring great joy; in this instance, an opportunity for better employment, a better standard of living, and stability for a family.  Not many years ago I was blessed with an opportunity to learn such patience and endurance and to experience the resulting reward of great joy.  This all took place around the time I wrote my very first song, “If Any of You Lack Wisdom”.  Because of the experience this song will always hold a very special place in my heart.  The following is the story of how the song “If Any of You Lack Wisdom” came to be:

On a Sunday in June of 2005 I was sitting in church pondering some things I had recently read about Joseph Smith, Jr., the first prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Much was being discussed about the prophet that year as the Church was preparing to celebrate his 200^th birthday.  During Sacrament Meeting that day in June, I certainly wasn’t expecting a life-changing event to occur.  I remember thinking about Joseph as a young boy, and how one simple prayer changed the world, forever.  I then thought about the Book of James, Chapter 1, verse 5, the scripture that prompted Joseph’s humble prayer in the Sacred Grove that ultimately led to the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I had read the verse enough to have it memorized:  “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”  As I was recalling the words to this scripture, I remember the moment well when, like a bolt of lightning, a simple tune popped into my mind.  It filled my heart with amazing warmth, and I tingled with excitement as I realized this verse could be made into a song and that I might be given the opportunity to write that song.  It was surreal to me, and I pondered whether the feeling within me was anything like what Joseph Smith felt when that same scripture had made such an impact on him.  I quickly grabbed my Sacrament Meeting program and jotted down the notes to the song so I wouldn’t forget what I had heard.  I remember one of my kids looked at what I had written down and asked, “Is that a song?”  I nodded, and smiled, and thought, wow, is this for real? 

I couldn’t wait to get home and work more with the song.  I remember singing it for my husband and kids and asking them whether they thought it would be something the Primary children would sing.  They all said yes, but I could see the “yeah, right”-expressions on their faces, confirming my thoughts that it was truly a long-shot.  I knew I wasn’t a composer, so why should I expect anything more to happen with the song even if I did complete it?  My self-doubts weren’t enough to stop me.  I simply couldn’t ignore the way the song was received and the drive within my heart and soul that was persuading me to pursue it further.  So, pursue it I did!

It didn’t take long to discover that completing the song was not going to be as easy as I had thought.  The chorus of the song was a breeze, because that was the part I had received as I was thinking of the words in James 1:5.  However, I ran into some obstacles when I began to write three verses to go along with the chorus.  I hadn’t heard a melody for any verses and I also didn’t have those words.  I remember spending countless hours in prayer, striving to complete what I had felt was “an assignment” that had been entrusted to me.  After a few weeks of work, at long last, I finally had what I thought was a nice little song from start to finish.  I tested it out on family members and it was well-received.  It was finished!

…Or so I thought! 

I was encouraged by family and friends to submit the song to the LDS Church and see if they would like to print it in The Friend magazine, which is a children’s magazine the church prints each month.  From time to time issues of The Friend include music, and since the date of Joseph Smith’s birthday celebration was approaching I thought, or rather hoped, the church might like to use it for that event.  So, I sent a copy of the song to The Friend magazine with a little note asking whether they might be interested in the song.  Not long after, I received a letter from the editors of The Friend explaining that they are only able to publish works that have gone through the Church Music Submission contests which are held annually.  The letter continued, saying they had therefore forwarded the song to the Church Music Department for submission into the contest.  To be on the safe side, I decided to look up the information about the contest and then submitted the song, again, according to their guidelines.  I later received two confirmation letters from the Church Music Department stating they had received the song, directly from me and also from The Friend, and that the song had been entered into the contest which would be judged the following June. 

Wait!....Not until next June?  Yes, next June, which meant I had to wait an entire year to find out whether the Church was interested in my song!  I had just missed the submission deadline for 2005.  What rotten luck!

The agony I faced during that year was almost unbearable.  It was probably the longest year of my life.  Surely I wouldn’t win anything, but then what was that moment of inspiration, and why did I feel so strongly the need to write the song?  I don’t know what I was expecting to hear; perhaps just a verbal pat on the back with some encouragement telling me something along the lines of, “although it wasn’t selected as a winner we really enjoyed the song”, or perhaps some constructive criticism suggesting I change a few things and continue working with it.   I really had no idea what to expect.

At long last, June of 2006 arrived. The submission rules had stated that a letter would be sent out by July 1^st to all submitters, announcing who the winners were.  I impatiently waited…and waited…and waited…. Nothing came!  By mid-July I was extremely depressed and confused by the lack of…well, anything at all.  I decided the Church must have absolutely hated the song so much that it wasn’t worthy of a response.  I was certain I had been delusional to think I could ever really be a composer.  What had I been thinking? Who was I kidding?  And yet…what was that experience I had during church if I wasn’t supposed to write the song?  Again, I was terribly confused.

Some time in October of that same year I was on the phone with my mother when she asked, “I keep forgetting to ask you, what ever happened with that song you wrote?”  I hadn’t even mentioned it to anyone because I had been so depressed about the whole ordeal.  I told my mother the sad story that I hadn’t heard a word so I assumed the Church absolutely hated it.  She thought it was odd that I hadn’t at least received the letter with the list of winners that had been promised.  Therefore, she encouraged me to call the Church Music Department to ask about it.  I hesitated, and then decided I probably should at least call them or I would always wonder about it.  So I made the call.

The sister on the other end of the phone was pleasant and sweet.  I explained to her that I had submitted a song but hadn’t heard anything and was wondering whether the letter with the list of winners had been sent out.  She was confused and said that yes, the letters had indeed been sent to everyone, and that if I had entered a song I should have received one.  We wondered whether my letter had been somehow lost in the mail.  If so, what rotten luck that would have been, especially for someone as anxious as I had been about it all.  She asked for my name and the title of my song and began searching the computer database to verify my address.  A few moments later she said, “Hmmm, that’s strange…”  “What’s strange?”  I asked.  “Well…” she said, “I’m not finding your name or your song title in the database, and it should be here if you submitted it, and especially if you received a confirmation letter from us because those letters don’t go out unless the song has already been entered into the system.”  I then told her about having submitted it twice, once through The Friend, and then again through the submission contest and that I had received letters regarding both entries.  She decided she needed to look in some other places and said she would call me back later.  About an hour later, she called and reported that she had searched their entire office, and had also gone to the office of The Friend magazine to search there as well and had not found the song anywhere.  She apologized and said it was “a complete mystery” and that this type of thing had never happened before as they are very careful to catalog each entry.  Indeed it was a mystery because not one, but TWO copies of my song had completely disappeared!  She then said, “Apparently, your song didn’t get judged at all. Will you submit it again?”  I told her that I would do so.

As I began to digest this news a tidal wave of emotions rushed through me.  First, confusion over why two copies of the song had mysteriously disappeared, then relief that the Church hadn’t completely rejected it…yet, anyway; and then excitement about having another chance to submit it; and finally, dread at having to wait for almost another year to find out the results…again!  I quickly decided the Lord must really want me to learn patience!  I then had another realization that almost instantly set me to work again.  I suddenly knew in my heart that I had made a mistake, or mistakes, somewhere in the song, and that I was being given an opportunity to fix it; that the song was close, but not quite right.  I also realized that if the song had been judged as it had been submitted, and ultimately rejected due to the mistake(s) I would have given up on the idea of composing entirely, certain I had been delusional to even think I could ever stand a chance.  Alternatively, if the song had been selected a winner despite the mistake(s), it would have always been wrong and may never have been corrected.   I decided that these reasons were why the song had gone missing, and that it was actually quite a miracle and a blessing, rather than a mystery and sheer bad luck.

This time, I wasn’t going to rush to submit it.  I knew the submission deadline wasn’t until March 31^st, so I had a few months to work on it and pray about it.  I won’t say it came easy for me, because it didn’t.  It took a great deal of effort and time.  I felt in my heart that the chorus was exactly as it needed to be, because that was the part that was "given" to me, by way of inspiration or whatever you want to call it.  The rest, however, I was unsure about.  After many hours and days spent praying about it I finally came to a solid conclusion that some of the words were wrong, and the first line of the melody in the verse needed a slight change.  After making those adjustments, and praying about it further, I knew.  This time, it really was finished.  

And then came the awful wait…again.  Not as long this time, but even a few months was too much by this point, almost more agony than I could bear.  I could hardly stand another disappointment, although I also couldn’t talk myself into believing my song could possibly win anything, especially with so many talented composers submitting songs to the church.  Again, I really didn’t quite know what to expect.   

One night during the middle of June of 2007, I remember praying for comfort, to know it was going to be okay and that I wouldn’t experience the complete rejection and ultimate disappointment I feared I was going to receive.  All at once, an image came to mind of my song sitting on a piano with a blue ribbon attached to it.  A blue ribbon!?  No, it couldn’t be!  The idea was laughable at best, yet my heart filled with warmth and comfort over the thought of this image, similar to the feelings I experienced when the melody for the chorus came to me during church.  I was extremely grateful for this comfort whether or not the winning song was true.  Of course I certainly hoped it was true, but I had serious doubts.   

The morning of June 21^st began as any other as I started getting ready for the day.  At some point the phone rang.  The caller ID read, “The Church of Jesus Christ”.  Since we had a missionary serving in Missouri at that time who had already undergone surgery for a broken nose due to a direct elbow hit while playing basketball in the Missionary Training Center, my initial reaction was one of concern—not again!   I picked up the phone and was relieved to discover it was actually someone from the Church Music Department.  My initial concern quickly changed to sheer excitement and anticipation.  I certainly hadn’t been expecting a phone call!

I wish there had been a video camera running at the moment I was informed my song had been awarded “Award of Distinction” in the children’s song division.  Award of Distinction - first place!  Wow! It was really true!  I could barely contain my excitement, and once the phone was returned to its receiver there was much rejoicing in our home.  I think I danced around for at least an hour and wore a smile on my face for at least three months, if not longer.  My smiles weren’t all due to having a winning song, but probably mostly due to the overwhelming feeling of immense relief — to know I wasn’t completely crazy (some might argue this, ha ha), and to know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and who knows me better than I know myself.  I felt such an abundance of joy and excitement, but mostly I felt overwhelming gratitude.  I was extremely grateful to have been given such a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow, through trials, humility and patience, and to experience the rewards of enduring throughout it all, which resulted in a joy beyond my wildest dreams.  All of the agony of the long, unbearable wait, and the disappointment experienced after the first time the song had been submitted was all totally worth this feeling of immense, indescribable joy. 

This entire experience also marked the beginning of my journey as a song writer.  I suddenly knew that I actually can be a composer and with this first writing experience I also learned how important it is to have enough faith and spiritual preparation each time I compose so I can write each song correctly, from the start.  How grateful I am to a wise and loving Heavenly Father who sees and knows much more than we do, and through His wisdom can find ways to help us grow and experience things that He knows we need, to become what He wants us to become.   I am forever indebted to Him for His generousness and mercy to me.

    Marlene D. Bartlett