Roadblocks Can Lead to Wonderful Things

Dusting off the cobwebs today, realizing how long it has been since my last post!  My apologies!  Sometimes life gets so busy that a year, plus, flies by in the blink of an eye.  Has it really been that long?

I've been thinking a lot lately about roadblocks and how they can ultimately lead to wonderful things, depending on how they are handled.  When writing music I often develop a case of "composer's block", the musician's version of what an author might describe as writer's block, which of course is basically a roadblock.  Getting past these roadblocks depends largely on the way I approach a song.  Sometimes I'm simply too tired to get the right feel for it, or I may be experiencing too many distractions at that moment.  Sometimes I am not spiritually in tune enough to do anything with a song, and then sometimes I may be completely on the wrong track, as was the case with the song "Holy Jesus". This song initially had many roadblocks, and I have since determined that those obstacles were there for good reasons.  The song's issues were eventually resolved and it was ultimately selected as one of the winners in the LDS Church annual music submission contest and was performed in October, 2013, at the Relief Society Music Festival in Salt Lake City, Utah.  You can listen to Holy Jesus by clicking the link below:

Click Here to Listen

I thought I might write a little bit more about this song and the roadblocks I had to overcome before it could be completed. 

Some time towards the end of 2012 a portion of a simple melody popped into my mind with the words "Holy Jesus, (something) Jesus, la-la-la-la-la-la-la".  In other words, the only actual lyrics I had at the time and knew should be part of the song were simply two words, "Holy" and "Jesus".  I had absolutely no other words to go on.  Usually I will begin a song with a little more than two words so this wasn't my typical modus operandi, but the incomplete melody stuck and I felt impressed to do something with it.  I sat down at my computer and input the small portion of melody so I wouldn't forget what was in my mind.  I didn't know what the accompaniment should sound like at that time so that part was set aside while I mulled over what the words might become and did a lot of praying. 

For some reason I had initially thought the song might end up being a children's song; or perhaps I had hoped it might be.  I'm not certain.  I love writing children's songs for the LDS Church and since I had imagined this song as a new children's song I began to focus on it in that light.  However, for some reason the song wasn't going anywhere; no lyrics, no additional melody.  Huge composer's block.  So I set it aside for several months while I pondered and prayed some more about the simple melody and wondered what it was to become.  After awhile this "simple" melody began to grow in my mind.  I began to hear a flute obbligato, which became exciting to me because I had never written a song that included an instrument other than piano and organ.  This was new!  So, I sat back down at my computer and added the flute.  Not long after, I started to get a feel for the accompaniment which played off the flute, or rather they played off each other. 

Once I started to add the accompaniment it quickly became apparent that the song was becoming a little too complicated to be a children's song.  So I labored to simplify the accompaniment to fit more with a children's song, but it just wasn't working.  That flute and piano combination I had previously enjoyed no longer delighted me and the song just didn't feel right.  At this point I had to make a decision of whether to stubbornly continue in the direction of trying to simplify it into a children's song (which likely would have resulted in a dead end) or to let that idea go completely and see how the song would grow from there.  My curiosity got the better of me and I decided to go all-in.  What a wise decision!  Within mere moments of pursuing this new direction the song began to expand by leaps and bounds. Not only did the musicality of the song start to come together but the words also began to form.  No longer did I have to sing "la la la la la" to the melody.  There were meaningful lyrics! What a relief!  With words and music now working in sync together it quickly became apparent that this was not intended to be a children's song at all but was to be a song for women.  Ultimately, it became a four-part women's chorus.  

When I think back on that first simple melody that had popped into my mind so many months before, I never could have imagined what it might become.  Had I not found some way around the roadblocks I was experiencing, or had I not eventually acted on the inspiration I had been ignoring, who knows where the song might be today; possibly filed away as an unfinished children's song. 

Sometimes I wonder if the Lord grows weary of my stubbornness.  If I could only learn to respond better to the promptings I receive and act on them immediately I might avoid some of these roadblocks to begin with which would make things much easier on myself, and him.  But if he were to make it too easy for me to listen would I find as much joy in the end result, or, as I've experienced at other times throughout my composing journey, is the end result more joy-filled when I work through struggles to get the song completed, and learn something of value along the way?  This is how we grow; one step at a time, one experience at a time, one roadblock moved out of the way.  Isn't this what life is all about, to improve ourselves each day?  Then onward we go along the path of life until we hit another roadblock we need to work our way around.  And isn't life so much more rewarding when we do discover some way around the obstacles instead of being stuck behind one for the rest of our lives?  

I'm grateful for the challenges I've been able to work my way around thus far in my life that have lead to wonderful things.  I'm not saying I look forward to the next roadblock I will encounter along the way, but I will say that I am eagerly anticipating whatever joy awaits me on the other side of it.

Marlene D. Bartlett